What Ifs
by patriettegirl
Summary: Post Season 7 what if Buffy and Giles gave in one night. AU
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Buffy and Giles discover each other working at the Academy.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, I wish I did.

I wake up to a minor headache, well minor for me for anyone else other than the Slayer it would be considered a major hangover. I lift my head and look around and realize that I am not in my hotel room, but in fact I am in Giles room. I remember going out with Andrew and Xander last night. I remember having a few too many pints, and I remember that kiss. Giles had kissed me, it was right after he pushed a piece of hair out of my face and behind my ear. Now but just glancing down at the sheet across my body, there is more that I am not remembering. I quietly get out of the bed and grab my clothes before sneaking back across the hall and into my room.

As soon as I'm there, I lock the door and take a shower, the spray in my face will wake me up and hopefully I can remember what else happened last night. As I let the water rush down my back the wave of memories hit me. That kiss lead to another one and another. I remember how he pinned me to the wall in the elevator on our way upstairs and how we chose his room because he found his key first. I remember it all, how gentle he was and how attentive. In the morning they would have to sit and talk about the change in their relationship.

I'm a dried up prune when I step out of the shower. The water had turned cold, but I don't remember how much longer I stayed under the spray remembering the night before until I decided to get out of the shower. I was in the middle of drying my hair when a knock sounded at my door. Glancing at the clock I realize that its later than I thought it was. In fact it was damn near mid day. I open the door to see Giles on the other side, his hair is sticking up and he's not wearing his glasses, in fact his eyes are barely open. He must have a hangover.

"Buffy, there you are. Do you have the aspirian?"

"Yeah let me get it." I walk into the bath and step out, he's closed the door and is now sitting on the bed waiting for me to hand him his remedy. "Here you go, guess you had too many pints last night."

"It would appear that way." He paused to wash down the pills with the water I also brought him and before I could speak he was talking again. "Buffy, I know this may not sound to polite, but did anything happen last night?"

"Happen? In regards to what?" I can feel my heart actually aching as he speaks, something inside telling me that he forgot everything from last night. "You didn't make a fool of yourself that I can recall, you just had a few too many."

"Oh, ok. Well, thank you for the aspiran, I will get ready and meet you downstairs in say and hour."

"Sure." I close the door behind him and then start to cry. I remember how wonderful it felt to be with him and he forgets it entirely. I guess that it was meant to be that way, but it still hurts and I can't stop the tears from flowing. I manage to pull myself together by the time I meet him in the lobby for our drive back up north. The whole way home, I'm quiet and it takes all the will power I have not to cry in front of him, for if I do he would ask what is the matter and I can't lie to Giles.

That night I lock myself in my room while Giles stays down stairs and burries himself in a book. I have no idea what he's thinking or even if bits and pieces of last night are going through his mind. I however cannot seem to forget them and silently cry myself to sleep that night dreaming of Giles and how wonderful it felt to be held in his arms.

The next few weeks I avoid him as much as I can, which is difficult considering that we live in the same house and work in the same building. However at work I can hide in my class room teaching the next generation of slayers how to stay alive while he is in the headmasters office going over paperwork. At home is where it becomes hard I walk on egg shells and spend a lot of time in my room and out of his way, that way if he does remember I'm out of the line of fire.

Two months have passed since that night now and I can't seem to shake this flu bug, considering that its August and there has been minimal rain its odd that I'm sick. The slayer rarely gets sick, or so I'm told. I go see the doctor at the Academy during my lunch one day and am told the answer to my illness will pass in about 7 months give or take. I couldn't wrap what he was saying around my head until it was spoken aloud.

"Ms. Summers you're with child."

"What? How? What?"

"Congratulations, you're pregnant."

"Thank you." I speak and hear the few directions that he is giving me to take care of myself and the baby, but the realization that I'm pregnant skims past me. I focus more on the fact that I am pregnant and Giles is the father.

That night after dinner I start making myself more visiable around the house. Things have been a little strained and Giles welcomes the company. Normally after dinner I take a cup of coffee and a book to my room, but tonight when Giles starts to make the coffee for me I stop him.

"No thanks, I will take a cup of tea though."

"Are you ill?"

"No I'm just sick of coffee."

"Very well." I watch as he puts the kettle on and makes us the tea. Tea is better for me I remember once hearing that coffee is bad when you are pregnant. He hands me my cup and we go into the study to read. I'm not sure when but I fall asleep on the couch. I have no energy of late and the doctor said that was normal. I however wish to stay awake and look at the man who's baby I'm carrying.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2:

Buffy has finally decided to stop being a reclouse and join me in the study after dinner. Since our trip to London, I've noticed that our time together is very limited at best, she doesn't completely avoid me, but she doesn't go out of her way to try and talk to me either.

Since that trip I can't help but feel like I am missing something. If my dreams of late are any indication, I think something may have happened that she won't tell me about. I dream of holding her in my arms and making love to her until the sun comes up. But that isn't possible, she sees me as a father and not a lover. I would give anything to change that.

I look up from my book and notice that she has fallen asleep. I cross the room and cover her with a blanket as I place her book on the table next to her empty tea cup. I think she must be ill for Buffy hates drinking tea no matter what the reason. As she lays there, she shifts her postion and I notice the scar on her neck from where Angel bit her. I came so very close to loosing her that day, and I know that the scar is her reason for not contacting him, it reminds her of what he really is and what they can never have. I would give Buffy the world if she were to ask for it. She would never ask it from me though.

I sit back down and look at her. I haven't seen her too much of late and notice that there is a glow about her. She seems happy. Maybe she has found someone, maybe she is truly content for the first time in her life. It's hard to be happy when one lives on a hell mouth and fights evil daily.

Our trip in to the Academy is quick and we each part our separate ways to our jobs. Normally during my day I never get to the training rooms where she conducts her class, but today I feel compelled to go by and see her. I stand outside the room watching her train those on the skills that I helped her perfect for over 7 years. She never misses a beat or a step. When she turns the class over to Marie one of the older girls, I notice that she is pale and in an instant she has fainted.

The watcher in me takes over and I'm right there next to her, checking for injuires and a pulse, when I have the confirmation that I need she is alive, I pick her up just as I did all those years ago when Amy's mom cursed her and carry her to the medical portion of the building. They have me place her on a bed and shoe me from the room. I wait outside and call my assistant to cancel my remaining portion of the day. After an hour the doctor finally comes out to talk to me.

"Doctor is she quite all right?"

"Yes, she is fine. She just overdid it today. I told her yesterday to take it easy and not to do too much. I guess she thinks being the Slayer gives her leeway."

"I don't understand, you say you saw her yesterday?"

"Yes. Ms. Summers is with child. She needs to take it easy. As you are her roommate as well as her employer, perhaps you can make sure that she takes care of herself."

"Yes, of course. May I see her?"

"Yes, I want her to rest the rest of the day and take the next few days off. The nurse will go over her care with you before you go."

"Thank you." I watch as the doctor walks away down the hall and I stand there as my heart falls to the floor, Buffy is pregnant, but who, how and when? I'm confused I wasn't aware that she was even seeing anyone. She would surely have told me. I put on my smile and walk into the room to see her, she's lying there with an iv in her hand and some color back in her face. She's beautiful to me.

"Giles, can I go home yet?"

"In a bit, they want you to get some more fluids in you. You overdid it a bit. You know that you should be more careful in your current condition."

"My current condition, I'm pregnant not preparing to swim the English Channel. How do you know anyway?"

"The doctor told me, he figures that as your roommate and employer I would be able to make you take it easy. He apparently doesn't know you at all."

"Apparently not. That wasn't how I wanted you to find out."

"No I suppose not, but now that I know, I can help take care of you and the baby." I pause to grab her hand and give it a reassuring squeeze. "Do you need me to call anyone for you, the baby's father perhaps?"

"No, he knows but that's all for now. I have everyone that I need right here with me."

"All right. I'm going to get some things from my office and your bag, when I get back we should be able to go home and let you get some rest." I let go of her hand and walk out of the room. Once I'm at my office I pick up a priceless trinket and throw it against the wall where it shatters. I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at the pillock who is the baby's father who has more important things to do than be with her right now. I'm envious of him, that he gets to have this with her. However he is not here and I am, and I will do everything within my power to help her take care of that baby and give her the family that she never thought that she would have.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3:

Giles leaves the room and I can tell that he is upset, not with me, but he is upset. I haven't been seeing anyone and until the night in London the last person (I use the term loosely) that I was with was Spike. I want so much to tell him that the baby is his, but I can't, this has to be something that he figures out for himself, but if I tell him, he will only get mad at me and hate me. And I couldn't live if Giles were to leave me again.

He comes back about 20 minutes later, looking a bit worse for wear. He has taken his tie off and is holding his jacket across his arms. Its his invincible armor, hes trying to protect himself, but from what I'm not sure. Once I get the all clear he takes me home where he immediately tells me to go to my room to lay down. I obey I don't want to upset him.

A few minutes later he comes up with a plate of toast and some tea. I eat the toast because I am hungry and drink the tea which is apparently good for me, but I'm not quite sure how. He stays with me while I eat and then stands up to take the tray, before he makes it out of the room I stop him.

"Giles, will you help me look for a place of my own tomorrow?"

"Of course, but you know you are welcome here, why leave?"

"With the baby coming, I figure it will be cramped here in your house. Babies take up a lot of room, and you don't need us cramping your style." I watch as he places the tray down and comes down to sit on the bed next to me.

"Buffy you don't have to leave because you think I will feel cramped. I want you to stay, we can get a bigger place, or better still use the headmasters house on campus. I want to help you and be there for you and the baby. I would never want you to leave." I notice that he placed his hand on my stomach when he said the word baby, and I had to fight the tears that threatened to fall.

"You would do that for us?"

"I would do anything that you would ask me to do."

"That means a lot to me Giles, that you are here for us. I think we would make a good family."

"Yes, well you need your rest." I watch him stand and I don't want him to go.

"Giles would you stay with me tonight, just till I sleep."

"Of course."

I snuggle down under the covers and move over to make room for him to lay next to me. Once he is settled, I move closer and feel his arm go around my back to help hold me closer to him. I breathe in the smell of him and my mind is suddenly flooded with memories of that night together. I drape my arm across his stomach and close my eyes. For the first time in months I have no problems falling asleep and I don't cry myself to sleep. Somehow having Giles here with me makes me feel safe and I know that he meant what he said by him not wanting us to go. He said he would be there for us, I can't help but wonder if he will feel the same way after he remembers and finds out that the baby is his.

The next few days are like that night. Giles cooks all the meals and watches me to make sure that I eat them in full. I'm ordered to take a nap daily and at night after dinner and our tea, I go to bed and he lies with me until I fall asleep. In the morning I wake to find him gone, and feel a pang of guilt as I remember that is how I left him that night in London. By Sunday after taking 3 whole days from work, I'm ready to go back the next day. Giles still insists upon me napping even though I feel fine and would rather go for a walk or watch the tv. But I do as I am told and take the nap, Giles lays down with me again, just like he has the past few days, but this time when I wake up, he's not gone, but he's sitting in the chair next to the bedside table just watching me.

I wake up and adjust my clothes that are now very askew and sit up to look at him, before I can speak, he starts talking.

"Buffy, tell me about the last time we were in London."

"I don't really remember that was a few months ago, I know we met up with Xander and Andrew and had a few pints and in the morning you came knocking and looking for aspiran."

"That's not what I'm referring to."

"What are you referring too?"

"The time between the pub and the morning wake up call."

I look at his eyes and know that he has remembered something or has done the math in his head and figured out that in London is where I got pregnant. Either way, I now know that skimming the truth can no longer be done and he wants to know how much I know.

"If you know, you tell me, cause my memory is still a bit fuzzy." In honesty its crystal clear and I dream of that moment every night since our return. And since he started laying with me at night to help me sleep, I remember more and more of that night. I have to tell him something so I do. "If you are referring to that kiss, its no big deal, it was bound to happen."

"I'm referring to after that kiss and the time you went back to your room." The fear is probally present in my eyes, Giles now remembers fully what happened that night.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4:

"I'm referring to after that kiss and the time you went back to your room." I look at her as the fear rises in her eyes. Granted my tone is harsh and I more than likely look very upset. I remember parts of that night, but not all of it and I want Buffy to tell me. If I'm right the pillock that I am so mad at for abandoning Buffy is me.

I know that we kissed, I know that at one point she was in my room, but beyond that I have no idea how I woke up alone the next morning, and why she avoided me for nearly 2 months until she found out she was pregnant and now I think I have my answer. Seeing the fear, I have my answer, I don't need to hear it. I stand and leave her room and then I walk out the door downstairs. I don't care that its raining and that I don't have a coat on, I am upset right now and I have to think.

I walk down the road and towards the town. I can't believe this. How could I have been so foolish to take advantage of her like that. I know that in my right mind had I not been so drunk that never would have happened. I hate myself for letting it happen the way it did. Over 8 years of feelings and that is how is express them. I'm cursing myself when I hear footsteps coming up behind me, I know who they belong to and I don't know if I can look at her right now.

"Giles, wait please talk to me."

"Buffy, you don't understand, I can't."

"Why not? You promised that you would never leave me again, and look at you now, you're leaving me, you're leaving us."

"Is that what you think. You have no idea what is going on inside my head right now. I need to be left alone, respect that enough to go home and get out of the rain before you catch a cold which is not good for you in your current condition."

I turn and walk away from her, the words I just said hitting her like a ton of bricks. I use all of my will power not to take her in my arms and kiss her, but I need time to think. My head cannot wrap it self around the realization that I have just come too.

I keep walking until the rain has stopped and I realize that the sky is dark symbolizing that night has fallen. I know that is was only late afternoon when I left, a glance at my watch tells me that is almost 7 and Buffy is probally worried since I have been gone for so long. I turn and walk back towards the house, by the time I get there its nearly 9 and the house is dark and quiet as I open the door and walk inside.

The first thing I see is a pot of tea on the table. I feel it and know that its cold and has been sitting for a while. Next to it on the table is an envelope with my name written across it in Buffy's handwriting. I open it and as the words jump off the page at me I panic as I read them over and over again.

_Dear Giles,_

_I was hoping that when you finally remembered that night in London, that you would ask me why I didn't say anything sooner and hug me and tell me that you were sorry for the wasted months that we could have had. Today your eyes and your words spoke differently._

_I realized what you meant when you said I don't get it. I never did get anything when it came to you. For years I ignored you and walked all over and everyone saw it but me. When you came back into my life I was so greatful, not for the help you provided; but for the support you gave me. I always needed you Giles and I'm sorry that_ _I never showed you just how much I needed you, until it was too late. _

_In case by now you haven't completely figured it out, which I'm sure that you have you are a smart man, smarter than I could ever hope to be. The baby is yours, it is from that night in London. That wonderful night gave me the most precious gift of all, one most slayers have never gotten, a family. I will cherish it always, just as I will cherish the love that you have given me over the years. I will remember that night always and the love that we shared. _

_I am leaving tonight. I'm going to London and from there I will either join Dawn or Willow in Italy where I shall remain. I don't wish to be a bother for you and interfere with your life. I'm sorry that I don't understand and that I didn't tell you. I will send you updates in regards to the baby, but please don't come after me. My heart can't stand the loss of losing you again._

_I will love you forever,_

_Buffy_

I grab the letter and my keys and drive to the station in town. She would have to take the train in order to get there without a vehicle, so I choose to start my search there. I know she asked me not to come after her, but I have too, I will not loose her again over my stupidity.

At the station I am told that the last train for London left earlier in the day and the next one would be going out in the morning. I could drive down and try to find her instead I opt to return home and call Willow. I've decided to take the first train out in the morning and follow her to Italy if I have to, but I'm not going to let her get away from me again. I love her too much to live without her.

I go home and pour the tea she made me down the sink, its too cold to drink anyway. I call Willow, only to find she is out with Kennedy somewhere. I can't even tell her that if Buffy shows up that she needs to keep her there until I can get to her. I climb the stairs and get my bag ready for the morning. I'm not sure how long I will be gone, but I know I won't be back by the end of the week. As I crawl into bed I find I can't sleep, the past few days sleeping with Buffy in my arms made it easier for me to sleep, now I can't sleep without her and I'm kicking myself for walking out on her the way I did. I hate myself for having hurt her.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5:

I followed Giles only to have him tell me that I didn't understand. Which is true I don't understand him. I wanted to understand him and live with him and love him and raise a family together, but that was wishful thinking on my part. I wrote him a letter and packed a bag. I missed the train to London, so here I sit at the inn in town waiting for the morning where I will get on the train to London and take a plane to Rome where I will meet Willow and stay with her until I get back on my feet.

I lay in bed, but I can't sleep, instead I cry for what I cannot have. I wanted a life with Giles and instead I get a life by myself. Then I realize I'm not alone I have my child, our child and I will raise them and love more than I was ever loved as a child growing up. After tossing and turning all night the alarm sounds and I wake up, pack what little of my bag I unpacked go down pay for the room turn in the keys and head towards the station.

I focus on my own thoughts and not what is going on around me. Which is when is literally walk right into Giles. He's carrying a bag and I know that he was trying to come after me. I try to get past him, but he quickly grabs my elbow and turns me to face him.

"You haven't gone yet?"

"I missed the train yesterday."

"Thank god."

"What are you doing here? I told you not to follow me."

"Buffy, I know that yesterday I walked away, but I needed to think, and to process everything. Please lets go talk somewhere and if you don't have to like what I've said I will drive you to London myself."

I see the pleading in his eyes. He has so much that he wants to say and to express to me, but he doesn't know how or where to start. I see the hope in his eyes and I also see the hurt. He's hurting thinking that he may have lost me, lost us. I give in and say yes cause it's the only thing that I can do right now in order not to break down and cry. He takes my bag and leads me back to the car where he places our bags in the trunk and opens the door for me. I get in and then watch as he walks around gets in and starts the car. I know where he is driving, he is taking me home.

Once there he again opens my door, walks me to the door where he opens it and allows me to enter before him. Even though I was here only yesterday, it still feels like I was gone a lot longer than that. I walk into the study and sit down on the couch it is my normal spot when we talk so I take me seat and wait for what is to come.

I watch as he paces the room for a while and every 5th rotation he takes his glasses off and wipes them with his hankerchif. He nervous and so am I but I don't want to be the first one to speak, even though it appears that I will have too. Well I might as well just go all in and lay it on the line, I don't have much left to loose except for well pretty much everything. So here goes nothing.

"I'm really enjoying this talk we're having. Glad to see that we are able to work through our differences and have an adult conversation."

"Why are you leaving?"

"I told you. I can't hurt you anymore and to stay would definitely be hurting you."

"And you think that leaving would be the way to not hurt me. I just found out that you are carrying my child. I'm sorry I was so distant yesterday, but there was a lot that I needed to process."

"Think of how I felt, I've had 3 months to try and process what happened in London. You got it easy you forgot about what happened. You remember bits and pieces while I remember every single detail of that night. The only part of that that even can be processed is how much love there was that night."

"Buffy I didn't mean to hurt you."

"Is that what you think, that you hurt me that night. That you forced yourself upon me because you were drunk." He looks at me and I see that is what he thinks. I walk over and take his hands in mine and force him to look at me. "There was no force of any kind, I wanted it to happen. I was so glad that it did. My only regret is that you forgot."

"I didn't forget."

"What?"

"I didn't forget."


	6. Chapter 6

"I didn't forget." I look at her and see the confusion in her eyes "I've dreamt of that night every night since we returned. I thought it was another fantasy of what I've wanted between us for so long. Now I know it wasn't a dream, but a wonderful memory that we created."

"Giles, I don't understand."

"Buffy I have loved you for so long. Since before your Graduation. I hated leaving you when I did, but it was for the best. You needed to have the life you wanted and I wanted to see if I could survive with out you. I failed, but I never stopped wanting you or needing you, or loving you."

"You love me?"

"I've always loved you. I'll never stop no matter what happens or what you decide." I place a hand on her cheek and brush her tears away with my thumb. I decide that it's now or never so I lean forward and place a tentative kiss on her lips. Its gentle and I don't push it, so I pull away but not too far. I want to be able to kiss her again.

"Giles?"

"Yes?"

"Kiss me again."

I obey and place my mouth a top of hers again. This time there is more force behind it and I can feel her responding to me. She lets go of my hand and wraps her arms around my waist. I pull her flush against me with both of my arms and before I know it we are both fighting for control of the kiss. The need for oxygen over comes me and I break the kiss and allow my forehead to rest against hers. I look into her eyes and see the passion inside, the same passion that I have for her. Even though we just shared that wonderful kiss I need my answers, I have to know if she plans to stay.

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"I have to know, what are your plans now."

"For right now, they include reliving that night in London. Then tomorrow making plans to move into the headmasters house with you and our family."

"You're staying then?"

"Unless you want me to go."

"No, I never want you to leave."

"I never want to leave."

"That's wonderful." I cup her face with my hands and lean in to kiss her gently. Then I pull away and get on my knees and lean in to kiss her abdomen. The baby hidden underneath is the reason we are together in this moment and I am forever grateful that we are able to share in this together. I look up at Buffy and see tears in her eyes. I know how much this means to her. This is something that she wasn't supposed to have, and I am so happy to be the one giving it to her.

I stand up and lead her to the couch to sit, its not good for my knees to be on them for so long, even though I am in better shape than any of my friends my age. I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her close to me. It's a wonderful feeling just to hold her in my arms. Last night was pure agony for me. I'm lost in thought when Buffy starts asking me questions.

"Giles?"

"Yes?"

"Are you happy?"

"Ecstatic. You have given me a wonderful gift." I say as I place my hand on hers which is covering her stomach, almost like its protecting her unborn child. She looks at me and I realize that she never said that she loves me in return. Suddenly my face falls, the thought that Buffy didn't love me as much as I love her never crossed my mind until this very moment. I knew it was always a possibility, I just had never planned for my feelings to be so out in the open with her. So I remove my hand from her stomach and turn her to face me. I have to know, I'll die if I don't."

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"I have to know, do you love me?"


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: I am so sorry for the long delay. Life got in the way. I hope to finish this. Please enjoy

Giles just asked me if I love him. I do love him, but I'm not sure how I love him. Do I love him in the unconditional forever and ever kind of way or on a deeper level one that cannot be explained. I see the sadness in his eyes every moment that I delay in answering him, but right now I can't.

"Giles, I know you want an answer from me. But I can't answer it. Not right now. I will though one day when I have an answer to give you."

"I understand." I see in his eyes that he is hurt and I can't blame him. Heck even I hate me right now. I just can't lie to him and say I love him, when I'm not sure in what way I love him. I know its not a father daughter kind of love or it would make my current condition wrong on so many levels, but I do love Giles. I just hope that its as much as he loves me. I watch as he takes my hand and helps me to stand. "You should rest, its been a long day and the doctor said you need to rest as much as possible."

"OK." I turn and walk to the stairs, I don't hear his footsteps behind me, informing me that that he has chosen to stay downstairs and think. Silent tears fall down my face as I close the door to my room. For the first time in days, Giles is not there to help me fall asleep, deep down I know its my fault but it doesn't stop the pain that I am feeling from hurting any less. I fall asleep hurting for the man downstairs, knowing there is nothing I can do at this time to make him hurt less than he does.

I awake to find the sun has gone down, a glance at the clock tells me its after 7 and the roar of my stomach reminds me that I haven't eaten since this morning. I debate calling Willow to tell her that I won't be coming to Rome after all, but then decide against it. I go downstairs to find the table set and Giles finishing dinner in the kitchen. The man can cook, you have to give him that. My presence startles him and now he knows that I am awake.

"Oh, hello. Did you sleep well?"

"Quite I needed the rest you were right." I see his face light up and stop him from enjoying the moment too much. " I know, your watcher is always right, you must trust in them."

"Quite right, however I have not been your watcher for some time now."

"You will always be my watcher Giles." He smiles at that comment and I know he his no longer upset with me, however I know that he is still hurting. I hope to stop that but for now I have to take care of me so that our child has a chance to grow up in a spectacular world. "Smells good."

"I know how you like Spaghetti."

"Always."

"Good, shall we?"

"We shall." We sit down and have a lovely dinner, and for the first time in a long time, I feel that I am right where I belong.


	8. Chapter 8

A/N: Thank you for your continued reviews and support of the fic. I like to see them especially after so long of a break.

Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

We finished dinner in I guess what one would call comfortable silence. Neither of us spoke unless it was about the meal itself which left us with a very limited conversation. Afterwards, I cleaned up and made the usual pot of tea for us, while she retreated to the study to read. When I look at her, I can see how she wants to make this work, to make us work. I also see the woman who has grown before my very eyes. I never thought that it was possible for us to reach this kind of a relationship, but it has and I am over the moon with joy because of it. Buffy is pregnant with my child, I couldn't be more thrilled.

I walk into the study with our tea and I set the set down and begin to make her a cup. Buffy has never really been one for tea, but she learned how to make it well while we were in Sunnydale. I hand her a cup and then try again to make idle conversation, anything to distract me from the whirl wind of the past few days.

"I picked up a new flavor I believe you may enjoy. It's a Lady Grey, similar to Earl Grey but has a citrus taste to it. In my opinion it requires less sugar, which is good for you." I watch as she takes a sip and a shy smile crosses her face.

"I like that, can we make it more often?"

"Of course." I take a sip from my cup then place it on the table in front of me. "I was thinking that tomorrow perhaps we could tour the head masters home."

"That would be nice."

"Yes, then we can see what we may need in it for all of us and get settled in before your pregnancy takes you out of commission so to speak."

"Giles, I'm pregnant not bed ridden, I think I can handle moving."

"I know you can handle it, but the doctor did say that you need to take it easy. Please obey his orders."

"I will try."

"Thank you." I pick up my cup and take another sip, I notice that she has gone back to her book and I start to read mine. I read the same sentence over and over again. I hardly notice the time and before I know it the clock has stroked the midnight bell and I look up to see Buffy has fallen asleep on the sofa yet again.

I place my book down, marking my page again, of course I never removed the marker from where it was when I started reading it. Instead of covering her with a blanket, I gently lift her and carry her to her room. In the past week I have now carried her twice and each time with more care and delicacy than the first time I did it all those years ago.

In her room I cover her with her blanket, as I tuck it in under her chin I fight with the urge to place a kiss on her forehead. I give into the fight and place a gentle kiss on the top of her temple. A shy smile crosses my face as I think about that gentle kiss.

I have come to the conclusion that I must wait and be patient, Buffy will tell me what I long to her in her own time. Until then I will bide mine.

I walk out of the room and know that somewhere in the cupboard I have a 20 year old scotch that's been hiding that could use to be opened. After all today would be a good day for a drink.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

Months have passed since Giles and I were in London and had our first night together, even more have passed since I revealed to him that his dreams were indeed real and he is the father of my child, and weeks have now passed since I have decided that I no longer enjoy being pregnant and wish that this child would be born.

The first few months were fine, I only experienced morning sickness once, and that was late in the afternoon one day following lunch. Still not sure why its called morning sickness. Then I started to show and that was so exciting to me, until my clothes no longer fit and I cried for two whole days because I couldn't find anything to wear that was comfortable. Giles remedied that and came home one afternoon with a bag of clothes that would fit and took me out the next day to buy actual maternity clothes. Gotta say some of them were pretty cute and the jeans made me feel less pregnant.

Then the baby started to move, that was great until they started running out of room and I had to lean back in order to breathe, the doctor said that was normal, I wanted to ask him the last time he had a person growing inside him making it difficult to do anything. Now 3 weeks from my due date, I feel like a beached whale, my maternity clothes are starting to not fit and I can't see my feet anymore. Oh and did I mention that I'm getting beat up from the inside out. I swear if this child were kicking me from the outside I would be black and blue.

We still don't know what we are having yet, wanted to be surprised, but Willow being the wonderful witch that she is swears we are having a girl. I didn't want to disappoint her and tell her that I really wanted a boy to carry on Giles family name and so that when he retires there would be another Giles in charge of the council of watchers.

Officially we have been in the headmasters home for six months, but have only really started to utilize it in the past 3 after my baby shower. It was cute all these slayers in training throwing a baby shower. Most of them know the risks with being a slayer and for one of us to be pregnant and have a child means the world to us.

I believe that Giles has hit panic mode, any time I say ouch he starts looking for his keys so that he can take me into the doctor. Sometimes I want to hit him and say its ok, this has been going on for thousand of years and people are still doing it, there is no need to panic over every kick. Speaking of Giles, I can hear his keys in the door now with my lunch. He dotes on me which is so adorable, but sometimes I think he over does it.

"Here we are, Orange Chicken with Egg Drop Soup, Wonton's and Egg Rolls for you. And Cashew Chicken for me."

"Thank you, I was starving."

"You are quite welcome my dear. How are you feeling?' He asks as he hands me my Egg Rolls. I see the worry and wonder in his eyes, so I immediately soothe his worries.

"We are fine, just a bit too active right now for my own liking, I can't wait for this to all be over and I can have my body back."

"And that you shall, but we don't want them coming out of there until they are ready too."

"I know, but its still not fun."

"I know. I'll get you some water to wash all that down." He goes to the kitchen and comes back a minute later with a huge glass of water for me. He does do a very good job at taking care of me. I give him a kiss as a thank you. In the past few months, the smoochies and the cuddling has gone up, but that's as far as its gone. We still have our own rooms but we haven't discussed any plans for when the baby comes and I still can't give him the answer to his question.

I want to trust me I do. And Giles is being the most patient man on the planet right now, but for some reason I'm scared to answer him afraid of what will happen once the baby arrives. The baby is my main concern right now and I don't want to fall for Giles any more than I already have only to have things chance when the baby arrives, I can't be sad when I have someone who will be depending on me for everything.

"So my dear, what would you like to do this evening?'

"I thought a movie would be nice."

"It does, anyone in particular?"

"Shall We Dance, the Fred and Ginger version." Yes I like old musicals so sue me, it's goes back to when mom and I had movie night when we were avoiding men all together.

"I believe it can be done."

"Thank you!"

"You are most welcome." He stands and clears up from lunch, as he walks into the kitchen I see his shoulders slouch, almost in defeat. I want to cry, mainly for what I am doing to Giles, but partly because of my hormones. I want the baby to arrive so that I know where I fit into Giles life once and for all.


	10. Chapter 10

A/N: I'm on a roll today for some reason. Hope you all enjoy it while my muse has returned, even if it is for a brief stay.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

The kitchen has become a place of solitude for me. Buffy is limited to the housework that she can do, and so I have taken over the cooking which means she stays out of the kitchen and I can stay in there and curse the heavens that we are in this situation. I wanted so much more for us than a one night stand and a few kisses as tokens of thank you's.

The pregnancy is a delight in which we both share, ideas for the nursery, names, I even attend her appointments and listen to the heartbeat, her heartbeat. I want a girl, Buffy hasn't said either way, but I know healthy is what we both want. I believe a girl would be lovely with eyes just like her mother and long golden hair. But I fear I dream too much of the future I'm not even sure we may share together.

I know we will both be equal parents in the babies life, but I want a family with Buffy to raise our child together, to protect them from the world. I want to hold her every night and make love until the sun comes up, I want it all a future with Buffy.

Stupid me I went so far as to buy her an engagement ring, hoping to ask her for weeks now, but I can't work up my nerve. I want to ask when we are both ready, I just hope that I am able to before it is too late.

Since we had a late lunch, we have decided to move into the den for the remainder of the day. Since Buffy's doctor placed her on bed rest the afternoons are spent watching movies, mainly chick flicks as Buffy likes to call them, but occasionally I choose and we watch something that has some Drama in it, or a longer plot line. Tonight it is Buffy's pick and so now here we are sitting on the sofa, her feet on my lap. While the movie plays I rub her feet to help with the swelling and to relax her. Most nights Buffy dozes off before the mid way point, tonight however she does not and the tension in her face makes me believe that something is troubling her.

"Are you alright my dear?"

"Oh, I'm fine. Its just a twinge in my back, just the baby pressing on my spine again. No biggie. I could use some more water though."

"I shall fetch you some." While in the kitchen I'm in my own little world, that is until I hear the groan from Buffy and my heart just drops from my chest as I run to the other room to check on her. I know from the past few months this is not a sound that she has made before.

A/N: I know cliff hanger, but I will still keep it going, I think its almost done. Until then please review!


	11. Chapter 11

A/N: Thank you all for the wonderful reviews, they make me realize I am not allowed to take long breaks in the middle of stories. Hope to wrap this up soon. And yes I am the master of angst and adore cliffhanger endings that leave you wanting more.

Disclaimers/Summary: See Chapter 1

So all afternoon, I have been uncomfortable, and I mean really uncomfortable. My back has had these shooting pains ever since Giles came home, and now they are to the point that I can't stand them anymore, and for me to give into pain means a big deal. One jolt over takes me so suddenly I scream out and before I am even finished, Giles is next to my side holding my hand.

"Are you alright?"

"No I hurt. I think I need to go to the doctor."

"Of course, do you think you can walk?"

"Yeah I think so." No sooner than I say that and I start to stand up I collapse back into the sofa as another wave of pain overcomes me. So much for walking. Giles didn't hesitate he scooped me up and carried me out to the car.

"You will be fine Buffy, I assure you."

I give him a weak smile and turn my head into his shoulder and I start crying. I know that I am three weeks from my due date, and I know that babies can survive this early, but this is my baby, our baby. I don't want anything to happen to them.

In the car on the way over to the Academy, I am in even more pain and what seems like a thirty minute drive was really ten, but I'm just in too much pain to really notice anything other than my own concern.

Giles carries me inside to the medical unit and from there I am rushed away to a private room. I know Giles was telling people something about my pain but I'm not really sure what he was saying. All I know is that a stretcher was called and once I was on it, I was taken away from Giles and I instantly felt so alone. More alone than I have been in a really long time.

I watch as monitors are placed on me and the baby and questions are asked of me like how long and how bad has this pain been. I don't remember answering but I must have because the nurse typed things away into the computer. Suddenly I am so tired, I place my head back and close my eyes, I hear panic in the voice of the nurse in the room, but I don't react because I am so tired.

The last thing I hear before I fall completely to sleep is the doctor giving Giles an update on our condition.

"Mr. Giles, we have to perform and emergency deliver, Buffy has developed a complication…"

A/N: *I duck as you throw things, because I left you with yet another cliff hanger.* I think just a few more chapters and this will be complete.


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Sorry for the delay. Was enjoying time with my kiddos this week before my vacation is up. Please enjoy!**

**Disclaimers/Summary: See Chapter 1**

**I'm waiting in the hall pacing up and down. By now I'm sure I have cleaned my glasses a dozen times if not more. I am scared at this very moment. I have only been this scared twice before and both times were because I was scared for the woman lying on the bed in that room. The door is closed and they won't let me in. Finally I notice it open and see the doctor heading towards me, before the door closes I can see Buffy and she doesn't look that great.**

"**Mr. Giles, we have to perform and emergency deliver, Buffy has developed a complication…" He says to me as my heart falls into my stomach. **

"**What kind of complication?"**

"**We can't be certain until we get into surgery, but all scans indicate that she has a placenta aprevia, or a tare. Now its not uncommon, but we did not catch Buffy's until now. This can be dangerous. I'm not going to lie to you, we have to act fast if we are going to save her or the baby."**

"**May I see her?"**

"**I'm afraid not, now I have to go. A nurse will show you to the waiting area." Before I could ask anymore he was running down the hall to catch up with Buffy's gurney which was halfway to surgery. I don't recall the nurse showing me a seat, but she must have because I now occupy one. I sit there and for no reason at all I start to cry. In the palm of my hand I hold everything that is dear to me, and I might loose it because of a minor error that wasn't detected weeks ago. **

**What seems like hours have passed and yet by a glance at my watch it has only been a half hour. I watch the doors to the surgical area like a hawk watches its prey, hoping the doctor will come out soon and give me an update. I know the longer they take the better, but the lives of Buffy and our child rest in that mans hands and the sooner he tells me everything is fine, the sooner I can breathe a sigh of relief. **

**Finally I see the doors open and the doctor come out, he is dressed in his blue scrubs and still has his surgical cap on. **

"**Mr. Giles."**

"**How are they?"**

"**Buffy lost a lot of blood, we had to perform an emergency C-Section to deliver the baby and stop the bleeding. Buffy has developed another complication however, she is having a hard time clotting, we are doing a transfusion now to help with the blood loss and are working to repair the damage. Now I have to get back in there, but I wanted to give you an update."**

"**Yes, thank you." Wait he talked about Buffy but not the baby, I stop him before he goes through the doors to finish the surgery. "Doctor?"**

"**Yes?" **

"**What about the baby?"**

"**He's fine, quite the set of lungs he has."**

"**So it's a boy?"**

"**It's a boy." He nodded and went back past the doors to the operating room, while I allow a shy smile to cross my face. A boy. Buffy has given me a son. The Giles name lives on thanks to her. My joy is short lived as I begin once again to worry about Buffy.**

**A little while later a nurse comes to get me. She leads me down the hallway and I finally notice that we are headed towards the nursery. I look in and there are a few babies either sleeping or crying. The nurse points towards a bassinet towards the middle, inside lies a baby wrapped in a blue blanket. My son. **

**There he is sleeping peacefully amidst all the noise around him. Already I can tell he has his mothers strength to ignore the obvious and just deal with his own problems at hand. The nurse pushes the bassinet next to the glass so that I may get a better look at him, and then it hits me finally. I am a father to a beautiful baby boy. **


	13. Chapter 13

A/N: I am on a roll, yes it is almost done. Please keep the reviews coming.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

The first thing I notice is that I am in pain, lots of it. My insides feel like they have been ripped apart and that's when I notice one big change to both my insides and my outsides. I am no longer pregnant. It's a bit fuzzy but I remember Giles brining me to the hospital. After that I don't remember much, guess I must have passed out. I look around the room, but Giles isn't here, in fact its dark and I can barely make out anything in the dim light.

I feel around and notice the call button next to my hand, which also happens to be sporting a pretty IV with blood going into it. Will ask about that later, but for now I have to find out what happened, and where my baby is.

The nurse comes in surprised that I am already awake this soon. I think she forgot that I am the Slayer and the I have awesome healing abilities. At least I used to, I'm starting to doubt they still exist considering that I have blood being pumped into me.

"How are you feeling?"

"Ok, what happened?"

"I paged the doctor, he will be here in a moment. Can I get you anything?"

"No, where I my baby?"

"I will let the doctor tell you everything. Let me see what's keeping him."

She walks away before I can ask her anymore questions. Why won't she tell me what's going on or where my baby is. I don't even see Giles, maybe it's something bad that I allowed to happen and he doesn't want to see me. I start to let the tears fall from my eyes when the doctor finally comes in.

"Ms. Summers, how are you feeling?"

"Better, what happened?"

"You gave us quite a scare. You developed a placenta apreiva. Normally we can catch those early and prevent events like today from happening, but yours didn't present itself in time. We performed an emergency C-Section to deliver the baby and stop the bleeding, however you don't do anything easy, you developed a second complication and you failed to clot, which is very bad. We have given you a transfusion and have managed to stop the bleeding."

"And the baby?"

"Is doing well. A little small but he is three weeks early so that is to be expected. The last report I have is that he came in at 6 pounds 8 ounces and is sleeping peacefully. Mr. Giles is with him now. If you are up to it, I can have them brought here."

"Please?"

"Of course. It will just take a couple of minutes." I watch as he walks out the door and to the nurses desk. The baby is alright, a boy. I gave Giles a son, someone to carry on his family name, it does not end with him. I am so happy right now, there are no words to describe it.

The nurse comes in and helps me adjust the bed and brush out my hair before Giles and the baby arrive. It never hurts to look ones best after all, you only meet your child for the first time once. Once I'm settled, I can hear the footsteps of a formally stuffy librarian coming down the hall. They aren't as heavy as they usually are, maybe because the person he is with is sleeping and he does not wish to wake them.

As soon as he peers around the corner and into my room, my heart melts. Giles is pushing the bassinet glancing up between it and his path to my bed, making sure to be careful with the person the he is pushing. I can see the sparkle in his eyes the shy smile he tries to hide from me. I have made him truly happy today. But I also know from experience that he was scared and still is and will be until I am 100% better.

He gets the baby as close to the bed as possible so I don't have to reach or stretch in order to see him. Best not to tare stitches. He gently sits on the bed and takes my hand. I smile gently at him and then we both look at the miracle that we have created.

I squeeze his hand to let him know that I am fine and not to worry, he smirks at me and then we sit in comfortable silence until I fall asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

A/N: Jumping ahead a few days. I was nice in the last chapter no cliffhangers. Can I have them back now?

Disclaimers/Summary: See Chapter 1

Finally we are home, 4 days in the hospital was more than adequate in my eyes, and more than what was necessary according to Buffy. But for the sake of the baby we had to stay an extra day, so Buffy kept her complaining to a minimum if it meant the baby being well enough to come home. We pull up to the house, there is no sign that the surprise I arranged for Buffy has arrived, but I could be wrong.

I pull up and then instantly rush around to help her out of the car, the stitches are healing nicely, but she will overdo something unless you order her not to, and when it comes to her health Buffy actually listens to those orders. I help her up the steps to the door then rush back for the carrier that was located in the back seat. Inside our son sleeps peacefully, never knowing he was being transported.

I have his bag over my shoulder and his carrier in my left hand as I guide Buffy inside using my right. The house has been put together and organized in our absence. Apparently my surprised has arrived and is evident in the house work. As we round the corner to the study, there waiting for us are Willow, Dawn and Xander. I arranged for them to fly out the day after Buffy had the baby so that they could all welcome the latest Scooby to the gang.

"You know I already feel sorry for the kiddo, I mean with you as his mom, he's bound to be in trouble like I was."

"Very funny Dawn. Now do you want to see your nephew?"

"Of course I do." Dawn came and took the carrier from me and placed it on the floor while I placed the bag on the sofa. Buffy instantly hugged Willow and Xander while Dawn gushed over the latest addition to the Summer's clan. "What's his name?"

"We haven't decided yet."

"Well you better decide soon, he can't just be nameless the rest of his life and then you know he will be ignored and then he will feel left out and see there I go rambling, Xander you were supposed to stop me from doing that."

"Sorry can't, I like you too much to stop your ramblings Will."

"We have a few ideas Willow, we just have yet to come to an agreement. By the end of the week I assure you."

"Enough of name speak. What are you all doing here?"

"The G-Man here called us the day after this little one got here. We all got on the first plane we could to see you."

"Thank you for that. It means a lot to me. The gang all together again." I watch as Buffy finishes her sentence and tries to hide her tears. The post partum has been a little tough the past few days and she isn't used to crying in front of her friends. I want to walk up and hug her and hold her, but I don't. I stay back keeping everything in check waiting patiently for us to finish our conversation from so many months ago.

As if he knows that his mum needs him, our son starts crying for a bottle. "That's my cue. Be right back." I watch as she takes his bag and goes to the kitchen to make up a bottle. No one follows her, we all sympathize with her at the moment. Every person in the room knows that for a slayer to have a child is a miracle in itself, but for Buffy and myself the past few days make us realize more than that.

I almost lost Buffy to a complication that apparently happens hundreds of times a day all over the world. I almost lost my son. I want them both in my life, for today for tomorrow for always. I just have to convince Buffy that the baby was not the only reason that I wanted them in my life. I love her, I always have and now is my last chance to prove it to her. I just hope that I can before its too late.


	15. Chapter 15

A/N: Thank you all for the very encouraging reviews. It really makes me remember why it is I like to write. And yes for the record I am the queen of angst, it is everywhere in my everyday life, therefore it is abundant in my writings.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

They came, all of my friends and even my sister came from their new homes all over the world to see me and welcome me and my son home. That's what this place is, its my home. I never thought I would have one after Sunnydale was destroyed. Now this place halfway around the world from California is my home. I never thought that this would happen but it is, I have finally come home.

Of late I cannot stop the tears from appearing. If it were up to me I would have them removed completely, heaven knows that I sure have shed my share of them over the past 8 years, and the past few days have been no different.

Giles and I are still at an in pass as to what to name our son. I want the Giles name to continue, hopefully it will be my name. I don't dare hope that things between us will change now that the baby is here. I hope they do, I want them too.

"Buffy are you alright?"

"Huh, oh yeah Will. I'm fine. Just a little tired."

"New babies have a tendency to do that."

"That they do." I give her a shy smile and she can instantly see right through it and knows that there is something I am not telling her.

"When were you going to tell me?"

"Tell you what?"

"That Giles is the father."

"Oh that. I didn't know how to tell you over the phone and it was kind of hard to get on a plane to Rome in my condition. I also wanted to see what Giles wanted before I said anything." I pause as I mix up the bottle for the baby. "How did you figure it out?"

"Well for one Giles said 'we haven't decided yet" which led me to believe that he would want some say in it. And for two he has Giles ears."

"Better than my ears huh."

"Oh yeah, no kid needs that punishment." She laughs and she leans in and gives me a hug.

"Are you OK with this, us I mean?"

"Yeah I am, took you long enough. I just wish you would have told me sooner."

"Well you know me. Didn't want to jinx anything."

"Buffy, you have a child, the ultimate goal for any slayer past, present and future. You know the risks involved in that, and yet you were able to have one and with Giles no less. You gave him a son, you carried on his family name. He loves you more than anyone else in the world, well maybe except for your son. But he has always loved you, you are his reason for being. Without you I'm pretty sure his life would suck. You just have to get over your fears and tell him what it is you want."

"How do I do that Will?"

"One day, one step at a time. I don't know for sure, but I do know that if you don't tell him soon, you may loose the love of your life forever."

"Thank you Will. I really needed that." I say as I give her a hug.

"Hey, what are best friends for if not to kick some sense into you every now and again."

We both laugh as we walk back into the study where everyone is waiting for us. I know what I have to do. I just hope that I'm not too late.


	16. Chapter 16

A/N: Am I keeping you busy today? The writing muse has returned. Please keep the reviews coming.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

I watch as Buffy comes out of the kitchen with Willow, I can tell that she has been crying, but isn't anymore. Leave it to Willow to comfort her and help Buffy work through her issues. She really is the best friend that Buffy could have ever asked for.

She and I lock eyes for the briefest moment and for a second I thought I may have seen it there, love. Does she love me, could she have realized it. A man can only be so patient, I can be a friend to Buffy, and a father to our son, but I'm not sure how I good I would be to her if I wasn't allowed to love her and receive that love in return.

We all have a peaceful dinner. Dawn stays in the guest room, while Xander and Willow return back to the Academy to stay in the guest quarters there for the evening, Unfortunately the house only has 4 bedrooms, one is mine, one is Buffy's and one is the nursery for the baby, and Dawn being family earned the only guest room that we have available.

After showing Dawn to the guest room and making sure the house is locked up, I walk down the hall towards my room and notice Buffy in the nursery just starring at the baby. I watch for a moment before I go in to make sure that she is ok.

"Buffy?"

"Oh Giles, you startled me. I was just watching him sleep."

"Yes he is peaceful when he sleeps, much like you in that regard." I look at her with sure tenderness and concern. I love her. I place my hand over hers along the edge of the crib. She does not shy away or even move her hand. Instead I notice that she leans towards me and rests her head on my shoulder. "Are you alright Buffy?"

Yes I'm fine. I just have a few things on my mind."

"Such as?"

"Such as we have to pick a name still. I know you like Philip, but I was thinking more of Edward."

"Edward?"

"Yeah Edward Alexander Philip Giles."

"I like it." I say with a smile.

"Good then its settled. Our son, Edward Alexander Philip Giles."

"Edward." I say as her head leans back against my shoulder for the second time in mere minutes. I catch a smell of her shampoo as she leans back. The floral scent has always captured my attention, and yet to this day I can not figure out which brand she uses. I can't hold my reserve anymore, so I take a step forward and kiss her temple. it's a small and intimate gesture, but for now it speaks volumes.

I notice the tension in her neck and place my other hand there as I try and guide her out of the room.

"You need your rest. Come lets get you to bed shall we."

"What if he needs me?"

"The monitor set up in your room as well as mine will activate if he makes the slightest sound. You need rest, you are not any good to him if you are exhausted."

"I think exhausted is part of being a parent."

"That it is, but many others have survived it, and so shall you."

"How can you be so sure?"

"Because my dear, you are an extraordinary woman."

I walk her down the hall to her room and bid her goodnight. And as per our usual, she leans in to give me a peck on the cheek. Tonight however I turn just in time and her lips land on mine. For the first time since that night in London, we actually kiss. I hear her moan into my mouth as the kiss deepens.

I pull her flesh against me as the kiss continues. I want her more than words can say and yet the kiss we are currently sharing speaks volumes about my feelings. I am pouring everything that I have left into this kiss, I do not know if it will be my last, but I have to get as much of Buffy as I can before she makes her decision. I'm so caught up in our kiss that I don't notice how her arms have wound them selves around my neck and she is backing us past the door and into her room.

The door closing breaks my concentration and I realize what I have done, but what we are about to do. I stop and separate us before things get too far out of control. I have to ask or I will regret this in the morning.

"Buffy; what does this mean?"


	17. Chapter 17

A/N: Thank you all for the encouraging reviews. Hope to get this wrapped up soon and working on a new one.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

"Buffy what does this mean?" I see the look in his eyes, almost pleading with me to give him his answer so I guess its time that I answer him.

"It means that I love you. In a way I always have it just took the past year almost for me to realize it." I pause I have to say all of this now or I never will. "You Rupert Giles are an amazing and wonderful man. You have been there for me through everything major in my life from my first love to my prom and my graduation. You were there when I died, both times and you held me up when mom died. Without you in my life and the love you have always given me I would have died the first time and stayed dead. You mean the world to me, and I do love you, more than you shall ever know."

"Buffy,"

"No I know you don't feel the same way as I do, I know you love me but I don't think it's the same way as I love you. We have a beautiful son together and your family name shall live on now because of him. I know that was a dream that you never thought would happen, and now it is one that has come to life. Leaving California has made our dreams possible and all of that is because of you."

I look down at the floor after I have finished speaking, the tears are now flowing and I can't stop them, damn pregnancy hormones. I am still holding his hand or is he holding mine, I'm not sure. All I know is that neither one of us has let go yet. Finally he lets go, and lifts his hand to under my chin and pushes it up so that I can look him in the eye. I see sadness and something else, but I'm not quite sure what that is. Before I can say anything he starts to speak.

"Buffy, you have no idea how elated I am to hear you say those words, all of those words." He pauses, this can't be good, can it? " I love you, with my whole entire heart. You were right, you have made my dream come true of having someone to carry on my family name. I never thought that would happen for me and now that it has I am over the moon with joy."

"Giles;"

"Wait, please allow me to finish." He pauses and takes a step back from me before he finishes his current thought process. "Elizabeth Anne Summers, you are the most wonderful, caring person that I have ever known. You give me strength I didn't know that I had, and you make me feel like a kid again when I am around you."

He lets go of my hands and starts reaching for something in his pocket. He's not doing what I think he is doing is he? Oh no I think he is, he just got one knee and is hiding something from me.

"You complete me and make me feel whole, just by your presence. Without you in my life I would have given up hope so many times. I have come to the realization that you are my reason for being and I would do anything that you asked of me now matter how great the task. What I am saying and well more asking is for you Elizabeth Anne Summers, my Buffy; will you do me the most dubious honor of marring me?"

He opens a box that had been concealed by his hand to show a beautiful wedding set. White Gold band with a Princess cut stone in the center with Princess cut baguettes on the side with a matching band. Absolutely gorgeous, Giles has good taste and its something I would have picked for myself.

I'm in shock, this isn't real. I'm dreaming this, after all I am Buffy, you know queen of impending doom and saving the world. This is my dream it has to be. I watch him as he is still kneeling on the floor holding the ring box towards me. He is nervous, nervous that I will say no, nervous that I'm too scared to make up my mind. So I take a deep breath before I begin to speak.

"Giles, I…."

A/N: Yep I did it again. Will post the remaining chapters as I write them, so hopefully the reviews keep my writing muse happy and I can finish it today.


	18. Chapter 18

A/N: Wrapping up, maybe two more chapters left until complete. Then I can get to work on another fic.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

So I finally work up the nerve to ask Buffy to marry me. Maybe it was a little too soon after the birth of Edward to ask, but she just told me everything that I have ever wanted to hear from her and have been waiting to hear from her. I can tell that I have completely caught her off guard, it was the last think that she expected from me. I hear her catch her breath before she begins to speak.

"Giles I…" Before she can finish Edward begins crying from his spot in the crib. Buffy quickly goes to him while I drop my head and begin to stand. I place the ring box back into my pocket and walk back into the babies room to join her; mainly to see if there is anything I can do to help her with our son. Also in part to see if she will answer my question.

As soon as I reach her, I find she has calmed him and managed to get him back down with the help of his binky. For someone who thought that she would never be a mother, Buffy is doing a wonderful job. As I watch her watching our son, I know she is thinking about her answer. Perhaps I did bring it up too soon, but now its out there and it will be the elephant in the room as long as it goes unanswered. She turns to me, and before I can even finish saying her name, she starts talking.

"Ask me again."

"What?"

"I said ask me again, right now without any interruptions." I see the look in her eyes, so brave and bold, ready to answer any questions that I may have for her. I don't get back on my knee cause lets face it, I'm in shape but not that good of shape. I pull the ring from my pocket and open the box to her hopefully for the last time.

"Buffy, will you marry me?"

"Yes, Rupert Giles, I will marry you."

"Really?" I ask almost perplexed. Then before I know it I am smiling a huge smile and Buffy is beaming at me with those blue eyes of hers. She takes the engagement portion of the ring from the box, leaving the band there for a later date and holds it to me to place on her finger.

"Really, can I wear this now?"

"Allow me." I slide the ring onto her finger and notice that it is a perfect fit and almost like it was meant to be there. I look into her eyes and see the love that I have for her starring right back at me.

"Its beautiful."

"Just like you are." I lean in and kiss her and as the kiss deepens I know that this moment is one of many from that past few weeks that I will never forget for the rest of my life.

A/N: See you all thought I was going to do it again didn't you. Never bet on a sure thing. One more chapter to wrap everything up and then it will be complete. Please review.


	19. Chapter 19

A/N: Last Chapter, or is it? Read and see.

Disclaimer/Summary: See Chapter 1

Months have gone by since that night in the nursery when Giles asked me to marry him and I said yes. We are two days from the wedding and 4 days from Edward turning 6 months. The past few months have be a whirlwind of events, from announcing our engagement to taking care of Ed it has been quite the feat to stay sane.

Willow my wonderful maid of honor that she is has handled a few things for me that I would have never thought of. Even from Rome her skills were very useful. If she weren't the most powerful Wicca in the world then she could make an awesome living as a wedding planner somewhere. She kept me in line and got me to every appointment on time.

Giles has sparred no expense when it comes to Ed or the wedding. I figure since he knows it's the only wedding we are both having make it a good one. My dress is perfect only took me three months to get back down to my original size, so the alterations were minimal. Willows dress I am most proud of since we are having a early fall wedding I have placed her in a sleeveless dress that falls to the knee and can really be used over again unlike Anya's bridesmaid dress from so many years ago. And I have to say the color suits her a beautiful teal which makes her red hair stand out.

Tomorrow is the rehearsal dinner and then on Saturday I will become Mrs. Rupert Giles. Yeah I'm all sentimental so sue me. My baby blues have faded and my nerves have calmed.

Since that night in the nursery, not much has changed, Giles and I haven't been allowed to do much of anything thanks to the surgery and when I finally did get the all clear, we both decided that we would wait until the wedding, which can't come soon enough in my book. So I am two days from my wedding and I am nervous and frustrated and ready to be married.

If Giles is nervous he hasn't shown any sign of it, cool and collected as always. It has to be the British in him. Excited I know he is, he has something planned for the honeymoon, yet refuses to tell me where we are going, Xander apparently knows but won't tell me or Willow because he knows she would tell me. Apparently Willow will be told during the reception so that she may pack my bags for our trip. I agreed but informed Will there are a few things she has to pack for me.

The rest of the day flies by, I rush from my last fitting to a restaurant downtown where I am meeting Giles. Dawn is watching Ed for the next few nights so that we may both rest and also while we are away, so a quiet dinner for two is just what was ordered. I walk in to find him already seated and waiting for me. He looks so handsome, why did it ever take me so long to realize how much I loved him.

"Sorry I'm late, my fitting ran over." I say as I lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek.

"Quite alright my dear, I would rather you be late for dinner than in tears in two days because they couldn't fit your dress just right." He smiles as he tells me that knowing full well that I want to look my best on Saturday. "I ordered us a bottle of wine, should be here in a moment."

"Thank you!"

"You are quite welcome. So how was your day?"

"Busy, Willow has every minute scheduled, I can't believe all the things we have to do before tomorrow night. How was yours?"

"The same, wrapping up a few things at the office and making room for Xander to take over for a few weeks." As he speaks the waiter has brought us the wine and poured our glasses, as he walks away Giles continues. "I did however manage to stop and get you something today."

"Oh, I like presents."

"Well I really hope that you like this one." He says as he pulls a box from his pocket. I open it to find a beautiful pair of princess cut earrings inside, they match my ring perfectly and will go well with my dress, something I can wear for the wedding. "I hope that you like them."

"They are perfect, I will wear them on Saturday. Thank you!"

"You are welcome. They are sort of an anniversary present."

"Anniversary?"

"Yes, it was a year ago today that I found out that I was going to be a father and that was all thanks to you."

"Oh Giles."

"My life would be empty without you in it." I cry this man is so wonderful to me, I would be lost without him in my life. I wasn't sure that he remembered the date, I did which is why I reach into my purse and pull out a small gift box for him.

"I got this for you today, its your anniversary present." I watch as he opens it, the handkerchiefs I had embroider with the date last year and his initials. "I figure since you always clean your glasses you could do with something like this."

"Its wonderful. Thank you!"

"Welcome, so now are you ready to tell me where our honeymoon is going to be?"

"Not for all the money in the world."

"Can't blame a girl for trying."

The next day is a flurry of activity and since we both have things to do today, Giles and I don't even get to eat breakfast together, in fact the first time all day that I get to see him is at our rehearsal dinner. The events of the day have worn him out, as well as me. Ed is content being with Dawn and I am content just to be standing at this point.

We get through the ceremony rehearsal and then the dinner without any problems, oh except that we are both to busy to really talk to each other. And since Willow is all for not seeing the bride the day of the wedding, Giles is staying at the Academy and we can't even say good night properly. We get a quick peck in the parking lot before Xander drives him to where he is staying for the night and I drive me and the girls home.

Tomorrow all of this hubbub will be over and we can both breathe a sigh of relief. Until then I will wait, how patiently I will do that is another question.

In the morning I wake to see my dress all steamed out and hanging on my wardrobe, its perfect, better than I ever dreamed. Willow comes in a few minutes later with breakfast and my itinerary for the day, first hair then nails and makeup and then we go to the chapel to get dressed and for the ceremony. Countdown in 8 hours, 14 minutes and 36 seconds I will be Mrs. Rupert Giles, but who's counting.

Its now 30 minutes before the ceremony starts and I am dressed and ready to go, unfortunately I cannot sit down or the dress will wrinkle, I have to take my mind off of my nerves somehow, so I send Willow with Giles present to give to him. Traditions speak volumes with on this day of all days. I even went so far as to get a sixpence glued to the bottom of my shoe with Giles' birth year on it. I believe in some old wives tales the ones for weddings more so than others. Willow asked what I got him before she left, she loves surprises if only she wouldn't blab them. When I told her that I got Giles a pair of cufflinks that had his initials in them she got all teary eyed, just like Willow.

When she comes back, she is holding a box for me. I open it to find a tennis bracelet that goes with my earrings, I ask her help in putting it on. I would have never thought that Giles was a traditions sort of a guy but he has once again managed to surprise me. I start to cry but it only lasts for a moment before Willow tells me I will ruin my makeup. 10 minutes and counting, time to take my place.

Willow is out after Dawn being my made of honor and all, but before she goes to walk down the aisle, she turns and gives me a hug.

"You are so beautiful, I am so happy for you."

"Thank you Will. Now get going, no need to keep the man waiting."

I watch as she walks out then the doors close again and I am standing there all alone waiting to walk down the aisle. My dad refuses to come and with Xander doing best man duties no one but Andrew was left to give me away and I actually wanted to make it down the aisle without problems. The music has now changed, and I can hear Pacabel Cannon in D being played that's my cue. As the door opens everyone stands and turns to look at me. I'm nervous, but my nerves calm when I focus on Giles standing there looking at me. The man does know how to wear a tux.

His smile beams at me and I am lost as I smile back at him. This is what the past 8 years have been about to get us to this moment in time. I love him, I could never love anyone else like I love him. He completes me, and we are a family.

The ceremony itself is relatively short, but the last few words are all that really matters to me.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I now have the pleasure of introducing you to Mr. and Mrs. Rupert and Elizabeth Giles." The crowd claps as we walk down the aisle to the waiting area. Once we are through the doors, Giles leans in and kisses me with more force than he did during the ceremony. My man has skills that's all I can say.

"I have been wanting to do that all day."

"And I have been wanting you to do that all day. Its over and done, now we can go back to being ourselves."

"You mean after our reception and our honeymoon of course."

"Of course. Oh by the way where are we going for our honeymoon?"

"It's a surprise."

"Meany!" I say with a pout, his remedy is to kiss me when I pout so even if I never get my answer I still get a kiss which lets face it is better than the answer most times. I never want him to stop kissing me, if it were up to me, he would never be allowed to stop. We wait in the wings for the church to empty and go outside to throw bird seeds at us while we get to the car that will be taking us to our reception.

I think Willow and Dawn we aiming at us more than just carelessly tossing the bird seed, cause some of those actually hurt when they hit us. Inside the town car that is taking us to our reception, I notice that Giles has the cufflinks I gave him on, I wonder what his initial reaction was of them, but him wearing him is enough for me.

The car was hired to drive us around town in order to give our guests time to get to the dining hall. When we finally arrive an hour later, we notice the place is packed with our friends and family. Our first dance is magical, Willow helped pin my train up before we arrived so that it wouldn't be in my way. At the end he dipped me followed promptly by a kiss.

The afternoon is a pure delight, in the end we bid farewell to our friends and then left for our honeymoon. It will be hard for both of us to be away from Ed for so long but I'm hoping that Giles has plenty in mind to distract me. Another car has been hired to take us the two hours from the Academy to London where we will stay the night until our flight in the morning. Still don't know where we are going to go yet, but I am sure I will have fun.

I'm still in my wedding gown when we get to the hotel in London, but I don't care I plan to be immersed in marital bliss for the rest of the night, and better the people adjacent to us know now instead of later. Coincidentally we are in the same hotel where Ed was conceived all those months ago. Ironic but fitting at the same time. Giles does know how to surprise me.

In the elevator we are the picture of perfection, nothing out of the ordinary, all we do is hold hands. Granted we are standing close enough to almost be on top of one another but who cares, this is the man that I am in love with and he loves me and we are married and in about 3 minutes we will be on our way to bigger and better things.

At the door, Giles inserts the key, opens it and then turns around and carries me over the threshold. Still never would have pegged him for the traditions kind of a man. He closes the door with his foot then places me down so that we are facing each other.

"Happy?"

"More than you shall ever know. And that is all thanks to you."

"You make me very happy. I love you very much Buffy."

"And I love you Giles." We make love for hours, until finally we get some sleep for our flight tomorrow. In the morning I wake up and go to get dressed. Willow is coming down later to pick up my dress and Giles' tux for storage, but that didn't mean that she didn't send my suitcase down in the car with us last night. Inside I open it and find the usual jeans and some t-shirts a dress or two and all of my bikini's. Finally I can ask where we are going.

"Care to tell me our destination yet?"

"Any guesses?"

"Somewhere tropical."

"Yes, that much is true, the rest you shall find out when we board the plane." He smiles, I wish he would tell me where we are going. The suspense is killing me.

We get to the airport after breakfast in the terminal and to the departure gate. We are early so I don't know where our actual plane is going to until after this one leaves. When boarding times comes and they announce the flight I couldn't be happier.

"Ladies and Gentlemen we are now boarding Flight 1280 non-stop from London to Aruba, all first class passengers may now board at this time." At this time we are walking to the gate, we are going to Aruba and going first class. I really love Giles, and last night was just an appitizer to what I am going to do to him when we get to Aruba.

At last I am finally Mrs. Elizabeth Giles. Who would have thought.

A/N: I know this one was long, but it wrapped everything up. Maybe if you ask nicely I will write and epilogue for the honeymoon and include smut. Review nicely please.


	20. Chapter 20

Ok, so I know I'm not supposed to do this, but forgive me.

For all of you who asked but don't scan the list daily for new stories or what not, I have posted a sequel for the honeymoon. Please enjoy with my blessings.


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